Late-Night Finds Trump Recycling Material at His Campaign Rally

“Why even bother curing cancer? Why not just deny cancer exists like you do everything else?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“This would be a lot of scientific progress from a guy who stared directly into a solar eclipse. But it is true he is close to eradicating AIDS in America. He’s already eradicated all the aides he hired to work for him at the White House, and that’s a start.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Hope Hicks, a former shut aide to Trump, was referred to as to testify earlier than the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday. Democrats weren’t thrilled with the outcomes.

“She angered Democrats by refusing to answer questions related to the White House today, but it didn’t really matter what she said or didn’t say. The important thing is, walking in, she looked great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Unfortunately, this is a probe into Trump’s possible obstruction of justice, so for once in your shampoo commercial of a life, answer somebody’s questions.” — SAMANTHA BEE

“Hope declined to answer questions about her work on the Trump presidential transition or in the White House, refusing to even identify the location of her West Wing office. That must have been a weird moment. ‘Ms. Hicks, here is a map of the West Wing. Can you at least point to where you worked? Was it closer to Stephen Miller’s terrarium or Kellyanne Conway’s haunted crawl space?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“So, if you’re keeping track at home, Trump aides are more immune to justice than America is to measles. So far the immunity’s working, because she managed to avoid being infected with accountability.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Trump’s got to be relieved that Hicks had his back today, because reports are, even though they worked closely together, they’ve drifted apart since she left the White House, and that recently, there were several times when she didn’t return Trump’s call, leading the president to ask his inner circle, ‘What happened to Hope?’ Sir, we’ve been asking that question for three years.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

During Trump’s Orlando rally, he requested the group to decide on between sticking with “MAGA” as his marketing campaign slogan or adopting a brand new one: “Keep America Great.”

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