Is My Millennial Co-Worker a Narcissist, or Am I a Jealous Jerk?

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My co-worker appears to work extra for his or her (I don’t wish to specify gender) private model than for the corporate. This staff member posts their whereabouts on Slack: They’re at a convention, at class (coursework tangential to their job), working from residence! They hold us updated on the trivialities of their journey (leaving at 11 a.m.! on a prepare with out Wi-Fi till 7 p.m.!). They meet their targets, however I’m not aware about what their outcomes appear to be — are they treading water or exceeding their targets?

I could possibly be glad this youthful co-worker is out and about a lot, however the division doesn’t profit in any method. (We’re in advertising and marketing.) When this co-worker reviews on conferences, they don’t say how what they discovered will assist us.

Another co-worker and I attempt to kind out if we’re jealous. (We have household obligations and maybe we’re a bit stodgy?) But I suppose if somebody is getting smarter on the corporate greenback, they need to share with their staff. Instead, we’re on the surface, watching our co-worker flit from factor to factor, sharpening their very own model.

Am I not pondering the new-think? Or is that this individual a office narcissist? Why does it trouble us a lot? What language can I use with co-worker’s supervisor and the division head that doesn’t make it seem to be a character problem, however about including worth to the group? Or is it simply that co-worker’s character and mine are far aside and I ought to search for my very own lessons and conferences and polish my very own model?

What’s the steadiness between what’s good for the person vs. good for the staff?

— Ok.C.

I’ve beforehand outed myself as a millennial on this column, and I suppose I ought to additional disclose that I not too long ago (and fairly publicly) give up my job and obtained a new one thanks partly to my largely optimistic status in an trade recognized for absurd ranges of upheaval. So! I am impressed by your colleague’s savvy brand-building, which I strongly suspect has much less to do with narcissism than with their experiences making a profession in a post-financial disaster world. I have by no means had a job that didn’t really feel tenuous, which implies I have by no means had the liberty to not obsess over my private model and whether or not I’m doing sufficient to burnish it by work, social media, skill-building and networking. Of course we might quite give up Twitter and cease going to conferences mixers and take all our trip days and develop actual hobbies and deeper human connections, however your complete financial system has proven us time and again that we can not, as a result of we are going to find yourself broke disappointments to everybody we all know. (Malcolm Harris’s glorious guide “Kids These Days,” which particulars how millennials had been formed by financial trauma, is a worthwhile learn on this topic.)

If you have an interest in taking lessons and attending conferences, why not take your organization up on its capacity to pay for them? If you’re not in a place to attend due to your loved ones commitments, that’s O.Ok. too, nevertheless it doesn’t imply your colleague must cease attending. If alternatives aren’t being doled out unequally and also you aren’t being compelled to tackle further work to cowl for his or her absence, whether or not they’re a mean performer or a famous person actually doesn’t concern you. The truth that you’re not answerable for this individual’s work outcomes and that you’re contemplating complaining to their supervisor — who is answerable for mentioned work outcomes, and absolutely is aware of the place their worker is on a given day — suggests it isn’t in reality about “adding value” however pure resentment.

This is the financial system’s fault, too. You’ve been set as much as resent millennials simply as a lot as we’ve been set as much as resent you. The excellent news is that you could nonetheless break the cycle.

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